I have been giving a lot of thought lately about rules. We all live by different rules in the many facets of our lives. We have rules at work, rules at play, rules of the road, rules about just about anything we do. Go shopping and the rules start the second you hit the parking lot. Park here, but not there. Drive in here, and out there. Get into the store, and there are more rules. Only three items allowed in the dressing room. This register for 12 items or less. Don't squeeze the Charmin. Rules, rules, rules.
We can all understand that we need rules in order to keep, well, order. Without rules we would live in a chaotic, dog-eat-dog society. We need rules to maintain civility, and most rules that are made are just plain common sense to help us live peacefully and in harmony. Besides, nobody wants their Charmin pre-squeezed.
What got me focusing on the subject of rules is just the blatant lack of common sense that is being expressed in our most important rules of all...our law. Citing the great and wise brother of Aristotle, the Philosopher Wikipedia states that, "Law is a system of rules and guidelines which are enforced through social institutions to govern behavior." To review Civics 101, the laws we all live by are made by people that we elect to represent us, through a process of debate and voting through many levels and approved and ratified by bigger representatives and so on and so forth.
But back to the common sense thing. The good and honorable Representative Todd Akin from the "show-me" State of Missouri (pronounced Miz-ooor-rah anywhere east of the Mississippi) came out with the phrase "legitimate rape" and states that in a case of a legitimate rape, a woman's body can "shut the whole thing down". Now, I am not an expert so I checked with the great and all-knowing Wikipedia, and there ain't nothing legitimate about rape. Furthermore, if there is a woman out there with these super-human capabilities, well you go get a bright red cape and a mask girl, because the Justice League is in need of a new superhero who is faster than a speeding sperm, and able to stop pregnancy with a single thought.
Obviously, the Esteemed and Neanderthalian Representative Akin covered his tracks when he went on to explain that in the event of a legitimate rape, there ought to be a punishment for the rapist and that the child should "not be attacked". Oh, well that makes it better. So just to be clear, in Akin's Mizoorah (which is a spin-off of Dawson's Creek, except that all the guys carry clubs and wear dinosaur skins, and the women wait for the men-folk to bang them over the head with the club), a guy can "legitimately rape" a woman, so that she can get pregnant, carry, and give birth to a child. Then we punish the rapist guy.
What's the problem here? Why is everyone so upset with Akin's logic? I mean, he covered everything, right? To review: the rape was legitimate, the wonder of life was protected, the woman got to be a Mom without even having to plan for or consent to it, and the guy got 18 months in prison (actually he only had to serve two weeks with time off for good behavior, and with any luck he was legitimately raped too).
Back to the rules thing, I seem to remember a rule that was made into law back in the 1970's (cough loudly here while muttering "Roe v. Wade") that was based on the 14th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States that gives a woman the legal right to have an abortion. As far as I know, (and I did check with Wikipedia) it is still the law of the land. Oh...the woman...that's what Akin forgot about! I think that the Right to Life and the Pro-Choice people can all agree that in the cases of rape or other violent acts, the woman has rights. Even Mitt Romney said so, and he knows way more than Wikipedia.
I have always followed certain unwritten rules about how to treat other people that were taught to me by my parents, my teachers, and all those nuns in Catholic school. No one has to tell me, or any other rational human being, that every and any person has rights as to what happens to their own body. It is just common sense. No one has the right to tell another person what to do with their own body. If we did, I would be the first in line to say to stop face piercings and ear lobe stretching. Nobody really wants to look at that or finds it attractive. We all have certain inalienable rights, and if you want to pierce your body, stretch your ear lobes until you can wear them as sneakers, eat trans-fats, drink Dr. Pepper (yuk), or stand in line to go see a Ben Affleck movie, then by all means go do it.
But for the love of God (a phrase that in all seriousness I do not use lightly because the Nuns would be pissed off at me), can these over zealous, and frankly not so overzealous Right to Lifer's just keep it to themselves! If this is what you believe, then live it for yourself and shut the F up about it. If you are really that sanctimonious about your belief that any conception is sacred and should be protected by our law, then why don't you adopt all of the children that were conceived from all the legitimate rapes that happen on a daily basis. Are you not your brother's keeper? How about keeping his kid around for then next twenty years or so? Reversing Roe v. Wade will not stop rape. Did Prohibition stop drinking?
No Americans had more common sense than the Native Americans. They lived off of the land and respected nature. They considered all wild things as gifts from a higher source, and knew that they had to take only what they needed to survive. They respected life in all forms, and never abused the land. Different tribes would protect their own, and they tried to live in harmony with other tribes. The Nipmuc Indians from what is now central New England named a famous lake that is located in Webster, MA Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg, which supposedly means "You fish on your side, I fish on my side and nobody fishes in the middle." I really like that philosophy. In today's world, we could interpret this as, "you mind your business, I'll mind my business, and nobody do fishy business", or for the right to lifers "you take care of your body, I'll take care of my body, and nobody wants to stand in a long line to go see a Ben Affleck movie".
In other words, just don't squeeze the Charmin and we will all get along.
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